Again
by InkBloodChambers
Summary: After a bad breakup and a broken heart, Eli wonders why he ever trusted Clare and if he ever could again.


**Disclaimer: i do not own degrassi or any body or anything else in this story.. although I wish i did. =) ENJOY **

My phone rang, it was Adam. "What's up?" I asked.

He sounded like he was up to no good. "Hey Eli, I was wondering if you wanted to come down to the dot tonight, me and drew are going to hang out". Adam had been trying to get me out the house every weekend since me and clare broke up. I always said no because going out was something _we _use to do. Me, Adam, and Clare.

Tonight, I had a change of heart, I was tired of my parents asking me was I okay and I needed some fresh air. "Yeah that sounds cool, Meet you there around 7." I answered finally. Adam sounded pleasantly surprised.

"Cool." We hung up and I got dressed.

As I walked in I spotted Adam and Drew sitting in a back corner. I joined them at the table and automatically I felt a breath of fresh air. Until the door swung open and I heard a familiar voice, Clare's. Behind her was Jake. Adam looked around nervously as I regretted even leaving my room. The room suddenly grew cold and tense. When she looked up and saw my eyes on her, she immediately stopped talking and looked away.

"So, I'll catch you guys later" I said to them.

"No Eli, she can't rule your life." Adam insisted. Just as I was sitting back down, I heard footsteps behind me and my body froze. Was it Clare? The figure approached. No, it was just some girl walking past us to an empty booth. She sat down and looked my way. I shook my head trying to focus and continued conversation with Adam and Drew.

In the middle of eating, I saw Adam's face turn red and I heard a voice say "Hi Adam, Hi Drew". Clare had walked by speaking to everyone, but ME. Really mature. Then I saw something that made my heart drop, Clare was holding hands with Jake.

At some point while I was staring at them, the girl sitting alone behind us must have made her way into my path because she said "Hey, you okay?".

I looked up at her black silky hair and brown round eyes. "Sorry, yeah I'm fine." I answered. She nodded and walked away slipping a paper into my hand. I looked at it. It had the name Imogen on it with a number. I blushed and tucked It in my pocket as Adam glared at me. His eyes wandered off towards Clare and when I looked up she stared at me in pain. She must of seen the girl give me the paper. I smiled. So what if she cared? So what if it hurt? She walked hand in hand with another guy. I turned to Adam, "She gave me her number, haha, she's cute, maybe I'll call when I get home". I said it loud enough for Clare to hear and Adam shook his head in disbelief. I ignored his motions and continued, "Matter of fact, if I leave now, I could catch up to her. I'll see you guys tomorrow".

Adam nodded and Drew just answered "Yeah man, cool". I got up and I could feel Clare's eyes burning a hole through me but I didn't care. She deserved it. As I turned to leave I heard words that cut through my chest and paralyzed me.

"Did you erase me from your memory, Did you ever love me at all!" Clare screamed. I ignored her but I stood still waiting for the next stab to the heart. "Eli, do you hear me?", Answer me. It's not my fault, I had to do what was best for me". Her last words slipped out as Jake stood up trying to calm her. I heard whispers, but I could not move. Clare squirmed trying to free herself from Jake's grip.

"Get over it Clare, Eli is over you and you're embarrassing yourself". Jake yelled. I turned to see tears fall from her face. Her beautiful porcelain skin was wet and her eyes filled with pain. Pain from me ignoring her? Pain from what Jake just said? I didn't know. I walked up to her and removed his hand from her arm.

"Just let her go" I calmly demanded. She stood frozen waiting for my next move, but I just walked out the restaurant, leaving her and everything that just happened behind me. The night air hit me and I pulled my jacket tighter to my body. Surprisingly, my mind was blank. No thought, no cares, no nothing. For the first time in a while, I was okay.

When I walked in my mom looked at me, "Eli, are you okay?"

I flashed her an innocent smile, "Yeah, I'm fine just went out with some friends and I'm tired, Goodnight". She wished me goodnight and I walked upstairs to my room. I flopped down on my tear stained pillow and closed my eyes. Bzzz, my phone vibrated.

I opened the text. "Eli, its Clare. I am sorry I yelled at you tonight, but even worse, I am sorry I still love you" it read.

I chose not to even text back. She left me in a cold hospital full of strangers, flaunts another man in my face, and then yells at me and calls my love a lie? Pshh. Instead I pulled the number from my pocket and began to text.

"Imogen? Hi this is Eli, you gave me your number earlier." No reply. Maybe she fell asleep I wondered. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

The morning shower hit me as last night replayed in my head. In less than one hour I would have to face everyone that was there, even Clare. I skipped breakfast and headed off to school. The hallways were packed and as I entered the building I felt cold glares. I heard whispers and giggles. But what I saw was worse. She was there by her locker, with him. His arms around her waist and their bodies losing distance. They kissed. My heart shattered and my fist balled up in anger. I continued past them and she looked up at me shocked that I had seen the whole thing. Ignoring her, I reached into my locker and grabbed my things, but then when I turned around she was there. Imogen.

"I got your text, but I was busy." She said. Did she really just brush me off when she was the one who gave me her number?

I laughed. "It's okay, I guess." I walked past her and went to class.

Lunch was weird. Everyone was staring and Adam and I just tried to make ourselves small against the gossiping cafeteria. "So did you guys talk it all out?" Adam asked leaning forward.

"Uhh what are you talking about?" I ignored his seriousness.

"Eli, man Clare told me she texted you. Spill." He demanded.

Annoyed by his nosiness, I simply stood up and responded "Didn't text back" and walked away. Leaving Adam sitting there. I walked past Clare and Jake. He looked up at me and winked. Anger roared through me. From the other end of the cafeteria, I heard someone yell my name. It was Imogen. I huffed and waved lightly to her. She motioned for me to come over. I looked back at Jake to let him know it wasn't over and approached imogen. She rubbed her hand over my shoulder.

"I didn't mean to upset you earlier. Just didn't want you to know that I was disappointed that you waited so long to text me".

"Well you know I'm a busy man myself, but I do apologize." I smirked. I saw her smile and noticing Clare's examining glare, I lightly grabbed Imogen's hand and led her to the hall. In the hall she looked at me.

"So, what's up? You pulled me out here?" she asked. I really didn't know what to do next. I had simply did all that for Clare's attention and now I felt childish for leading her on.

"Ohh nothing, I just wanted a little time with you that's all." I lied. She smiled accepting my answer and put her arms around me, and we walked hip to hip down the hall.

That night I tossed and turned. Images of Clare's face, all the pain in her eyes. This whole game I played using Imogen, hurting Clare. I felt like a monster, but why didn't Clare? Why did she look hurt when she kissed another guy in my presence? Unable to sleep, I logged into Facerange. Scanning through the post I saw Clare had posted a status five minutes ago. "Why doesn't he get it? Why can't I forget him?" my eyes scrolled down the page and all her recent posts rephrased the same message. I smiled, grabbing my phone. I opened the message Clare had sent the night before, this time I clicked reply.

"Hi Clare, I know today was weird between us. The whole Imogen and Jake thing. I just figured you were happy with him and so maybe I could find happiness somewhere too. Like with her? Anyways to answer your question from last night, I haven't forgotten you and I always loved, well always will love you." I smiled at the message and pressed send. Seconds later my phone buzzed.

"Glad to know I'm being replaced. Goodnight Eli". I read the message and buried my head in my hands. Will she ever get it?

Morning came quickly and I prepared myself for another day at Degrassi. This morning the hallway was different, it was still packed with people but not her. Clare was not there, but Jake was. He stood in the same spot as the day before as if he was waiting on her. While I rambled in my locker, I heard him mumble, "Where is she?" Suddenly my phone vibrated, startling me and causing me to drop my books on the floor. As I was reaching to get them, I heard Jake laugh to himself. Shoving the books in my locker, I read the new text message on my phone.

"Eli, I'm at our bench. If you read this before class, meet me here." I smiled at the message. Looking back up at Jake, I grinned and he looked away annoyed.

She sat there all alone, looking worried and lost. This was my chance.

"Shouldn't you be in school miss?" I asked teasing her. She jumped.

"Eli! You scared me. If I'm not mistaken, we have the same first period, so shouldn't you be in class?" she challenged. A smile stretched across her face and I couldn't help but stare. Seconds passed before she broke the silence.

"I need to talk." I looked at her waiting for her to continue.

"Eli, Is it wrong for me to hate your girlfriend, is it insane that I lov-?" She cut herself off. I hated her calling Imogen my girlfriend. She waited for my response trying to read my mind.

"Clare, Imogen isn't my girlfriend, she likes me but I just used her to hurt you." I confessed. "I know it was wrong and I know that you didn't deserve it, but seeing you with Jake killed me."

"Oh really?" she replied, "Then why aren't you dead?" She laughed but soon her face became serious. "Jake is just a friend Eli, We grew up together. Yeah sure he likes me, but I like you." She looked away surprised that the words left her mouth so easily.

I smiled and lightly stroked her face guiding it towards me. When we were so close that I could feel her breath, I whispered, "I love you Clare" and before she could respond I kissed her. Our eyes closed and our lips touched, My heart stopped and for that moment, She was mine.

"Eli?" The kiss was interrupted and I looked up and saw Imogen yelling above me. Clare stiffened and looked at Imogen apologetically.

I was caught. The look on Imogen's face scared me but I had to be real. "Imogen, I'm sorry I led you on, I'm sorry I brought you into this messy triangle. I'm sorry. Although you're a nice girl, you aren't her. My eyes looked at her with honestly for the first time.

"Her?" she mumbled.

I looked to Clare and put her hand in mine, "Yes her. Clare Diane Edwards." Clare looked up at me shyly and blushed. Looking back at Imogen, I finished "I'm sorry. I am in love with her, in love with Clare." The words flowed freely into the air. My feelings, my emotions, my love was all clearly expressed and for once I realized I wasn't crazy or obsessed. I was in love. Waiting for acceptance, I stared at Imogen, who rudely pushed past me and walked off.

"You picked a feisty one huh Goldsworthy?" Clare teased. She tilted her head to one side and questioned me "So you do love me?" I glanced away nervously, I was at that point again. She had the power to break my heart all over again and I could do nothing but wait… My heart tensed up in fear and then slowly released as Clare said "Well at least I know the feeling is mutual now". She gave me a small smile and slowly reached up to kiss me.

The wind blew, people stared, time passed but we, me and Clare, stood in front of our bench, and shared a kiss stronger than any other. She didn't walk away and leave me standing alone. She stood with me, and my heart trusted her again. Her hand inside of mine, rebuilding our promises and extending our love.

My first fan fiction. Curious to know how i did. Ideas ran short at the end. Hope I made you Eclare fans happy =)) REVIEW PLEASE.


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